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The Humpty Dumpty Love Song Thursday, January 10, 2008

Posted by Grace in blue doves.
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The Sandmonkey wrote a beautiful post a while ago, The Two Cups, that really struck a chord in my mind.

There was a particular man in my life, we will call him First, who definitely has a filled love cup in my heart at one time, but whose pain cup is kept at a precarious balance of full in proportion to empty. It was a cup he made sure to watch over, scoop off murky water when the levels rose too high, because he also had a love cup for me, and it is what a person dear to your heart should do.

The thing is that, those we love are the ones who hurt us the most, they don’t mean to (at least I should hope they don’t), but because of the love we hold for them, it stings the most and leaves the darker mark when they inflict pain.

First, not by purpose, but because of his dreams and his career and preparing to leave for a very far away country to go and save the world, kept the pain cup with his name on it filled to a level that had me feeling it all of the time. Day in and day out there was a throb from a wound which was trying to heal but couldn’t because it was constantly rubbed raw.

There is love, love that wipes everything else into details, love that lets me know that no matter what we will be alright because of each other. I fell into the Love cup he filled for me as if it was a well and treaded water happily, but situations beyond our control would add an extra splash or two of pain, tipping the scales to the Pain cup in which I was leaden and could not stay afloat.

In the end, being the man he was, he did not do well to feel his pain himself or see the pain in me and not be able to do anything about it. He decided for the both of us that no cups would be for the best. But that’s not really the way love works, is it? No cups is not a viable option, or at least between us it wasn’t.

For a while, it hurt pretty bad, without a love cup to look forward to and just a pain cup slowly draining. As they say, time heals, and as the last cup drained the hurt became less. But still, “Quod me nutrit, me destruit,” no?

Song of the Day: The Humpty Dumpty Love Song – Travis

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